37 Things You See in Miami During WMC/UMF

I’m far from an expert when it comes to navigating the bacchanal that is Winter Music Conference. HOWEVER, as a Miami native, I can vouch for certain things that tend to appear every March. These are their stories. (In GIFs, because all any of our minds can handle this week is one sentence at a time.)

We can tell whether you live here or not.

What the tourists look like:
snooki shades

How the locals feel:
excuuse me sunglasses

It’s. So. Damn. Expensive.

When the prices for Ultra tickets went up:wha huh

When you’re the only one in your group without a full-time job:
help im poor

When the event promised an open bar…
open bar yayyy

…but when you get in, there’s definitely no open bar.whats this fuckery

And the cocktails are $19.

Be ready for lots of primping, planning, and scheduling.

When you’re getting ready to go out:
spice girls too short

When you try to squeeze lots of events into each day:
keep moving or die

When you hate the DJ your friend wants to see:i cant no way sorry

Or if you’re the only person there who likes the headliner:
happy mad

When you finally get to the stage but have no idea who’s playing:
lucy huh

When all your friends disappear by the time you stop dancing:
who are you people

Make sure to treat your body right.

Ultra is even giving out free bottled water this year.
They want you to think it’ll look like this:

But it’ll actually be more like this:
free water

Pack snacks in case you forget to eat until you’re in line at the club.
sneak pizza

There are three types of people at WMC.

Those who you suspect are on drugs:
maybe drugs2

Those who are definitely on drugs:

And those who are sober, but all of their friends are on drugs:
no drugs eye roll
no drugs 2 im scared

There will be some great dancers.

But far more bad ones.

Good news: you don’t have to move too much to look like you know what you’re doing.

dancing girl

But whatever you do, never forget you’re still in public.

are you guys

When you see an undercover cop wandering the venue, be this guy:

Not this guy:
not this guy

Furthermore, when told to keep face, try to look like this:bow tie keep face

megan fox keep face

Not this:
grimace smile

not keeping face dance

Everyone will be equally exhausted by the end of the week.
anime bed collapse

When a friend tries to convince you to keep going:
yes thank you for your input

When you go back to the real world:
miss sex drugs bad choices

People may look at you funny when you tell stories about the week.
dont you dare judge me

But was it worth it?
dalek i regret nothing

And what about next year?
we have to go back

3 thoughts on “37 Things You See in Miami During WMC/UMF

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The Problem With Dating

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Maria Murriel

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